Rut

It is so easy to fall into a rut only to realize weeks have gone by and you haven't done a single productive thing. That is where I am right now. I want to sleep. I want to cry. I want more time. Then I think what am I saying? I have more free time than the average 36 year old woman. It's times like this I disgust myself. Who am I to ask for anything? If I just stop and look around I will see how good I have it. I am spoiled. I don't have the right to be unhappy. Girl, suck it up! Go take a shower and DO SOMETHING!

Transitional State

I have been in a transitional state for so long that I'm not even sure what my "normal" is anymore. I am happy though. I haven't been able to say that for a very long time. I feel like I am finally on the right path. I have a new found love of collage. Well, maybe not so much new as a realization that collage is the media for me. I have made some pen friends, and found I learn a lot about myself when I write. I send small works of art in my letters hoping to bring a little happiness to someone's day. I think connecting with people is a calling I never realized I had. I have always been shy, quiet, and awkward around people in person, but through letters I find the awkwardness disappears. I created a sort of mission statement for myself..." My life's journey is to connect with people all over the world, make art, and bring joy and inspiration to others." My mission statement is why i am here blogging again. I feel if I can inspire someone to follow their passions before it's too late, I have done my duty. That being said, I haven't the first clue how to do that! I am simply here to tell my story.

things i want

THINGS I WANT NOW:

iphone so i can take instagram pictures on the go

washi tape

gel pens

divine twine

vellum envelpes

a pen pal...   all for cute letters

tools and such to make homemade stamps (also for cute letters)

money for decorating, books, magazines, flea markets

Starting over at 35

Why does life have to be so hard sometimes? Before I even realize it, a week has gone by. All the stuff I meant to do just piles up. Why can"t I just be who I want to be, instead of who I am? *sigh* I got a couple books today, Unstuck and Illustration school; lets draw cute animals. I love the animal book, I have been doodling all kinds of little animals. Sometimes I feel like I am in a rut so big that I will never get out of it, but I am taking baby steps. One day I'll climb out of it and be the creative, happy go lucky, artist I wish to be... that is if time allows.

Yorkie

A lady came into the store today with the sweetest little Yorkie. She bought a winter coat for it and I about died, it was licking me and she said I had a new friend. Aww, now I kinda want a Yorkie. :)

Lost

I've been a bit lost lately, hence the lack of posts. Mostly I have been sleeping my days away. I hate that I do that, but I cant seem to stop. Even the coffee doesn't help. Ugh. Today I have been playing on Tumblr and working on my own inspiration book. I get overwhelmed with the amount of projects I want to do and money I want to spend (but don't have) that I can't seem to start. I never did finish the bathroom. :/ What a crazy mess my brain is. On a happy note, I had my first pottery class. I was of course nervous as all get out (even got dizzy as I approached the door) but I am super excited to be over that hurdle and start creating. It's been so long that it isn't as automatic as it once was for me, and actually a little hard to use the right pressure with my fingers. I didn't think about my stupid neurological issues with my fingers. Oh well, it was fun to get dirty. :) Now if only I would get motivated to pull out my watercolors... even just painting blocks of color would be something. Sometimes I wonder what the hell happened to me, why did I abandon the one thing I really love about life (being creative, making art). I don't even have kids to blame it on, I simply became lazy. I just got to keep at it. Even baby steps are steps forward.  

Depression Sucks

I'm having a hard time today. I hate depression. I'm all bummed out and I don't even know why. I had to force myself to get in the shower and get out of the house. I went to the local thrift store. Not as fun as I hoped it would be. I got another cork board. That makes three now. HaHa It's my thing ya know.. I really should stop buying things I don't need. :( I wasn't even with it enough to do a collage or anything today. Oh well, there is always tomorrow. *sigh*