Starting over at 35

Why does life have to be so hard sometimes? Before I even realize it, a week has gone by. All the stuff I meant to do just piles up. Why can"t I just be who I want to be, instead of who I am? *sigh* I got a couple books today, Unstuck and Illustration school; lets draw cute animals. I love the animal book, I have been doodling all kinds of little animals. Sometimes I feel like I am in a rut so big that I will never get out of it, but I am taking baby steps. One day I'll climb out of it and be the creative, happy go lucky, artist I wish to be... that is if time allows.